The Fortexx Group

A Summary of Leading Expert Margeaux Miller’s Tedx Talk

Have you ever received and deleted messages because they looked like pure spam? Something about them screamed ‘mass message,’ and you can tell that they were sent in a blast with no personal consideration of who you were and what you meant to them individually.

With today’s ever-evolving tools, technology and social media platforms, it’s no wonder so many of us struggle to build meaningful connections and a strong online social network. There is no ‘guidebook’ on social media etiquette.

The truth is, the vast majority of today’s job placements are happening through meaningful online connections, i.e., networking. The power of online networking is not to be ignored, but refined. So for this, we like Margeaux Miller’s playbook on building meaningful online connections that then create a strong, powerful network that can translate into a community filled with opportunity.

Here are Miller’s 6 Best Practices for Better Online Connections:

1. Connect, don’t collect

It’s not just a numbers game. Building a helpful community for ourselves is about the quality and depth of our connections.

The Pareto Principle in action: 20% of our connections yield 80% of our results, of our opportunities.

Miller says that we have to have a goal in mind: why are we reaching out, what is the outcome we are looking for, and have we done our homework?

“A strong first impression comes from stronger preparation.”

When you are reaching out to someone online, make your message personal by using something that the other person did or that they know about. You can even use AI language tools for personalization, just keep in mind that AI is “not a silver bullet.”

2. Don’t make it about you

“You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
-Dale Carnegie

When you receive a message from someone else, don’t you want it to be personalized? Don’t you want to feel like you’re not just one of many? How many times have you deleted or ignored a message like this? We bet that you’ve even gotten frustrated at the mere fact that you’ve wasted your precious time reading it!

Miller recommends the following formula for personalizing our messages:
Have a purpose + Have a Call-to-Action + Make the other person feel special

When you make your message about the other person’s experience, it makes it really easy for them to say yes. Because, well let’s face it, who doesn’t like talking about themselves?!

Don’t forget to add a CTA (call-to-action) and give them a compelling reason to say yes. Avoid sending general messages.

3. Become a familiar ‘face’

Engage with their social media by liking and commenting on their posts and boosting their visibility. You will increase your odds of connection.

You can join communities, groups and forum and use this method to share your expertise. More so, try tagging someone relevant to the discussion. When you’re a connector, people will recognize you for your value.

The biggest thing here is to avoid invisibility.

4. Bring in-person online

Follow up afterward! Bring up specifics. Miller even recommends taking a picture with the person at the event and sending it to them so they remember who you are (it doesn’t even have to be a good picture!).

Before you go to a new conference or a new city, cue up a few people you would like to connect with in advance and send a well-crafted message to them. Remember tips 1 & 2: do your research first and also share how you can help them while they’re in town.

5. Lose the emojis and be thoughtful

Miller relates online conversation to playing digital tennis. If we just keep hitting balls aggressively at them over the net, they just end up getting pelted and probably don’t enjoy the game so much. We’ll miss the mark completely.

She notes that the art of conversation thrives on continuous back and forth. When you can stop and see where the other person is aiming, you can meet them there and dynamically send the ball back over to them aimfully.

Essentially, don’t just jump in with your needs. Think about how you can help them, as well.

6. Follow up or fail

“80% of building and maintaining relationships is just staying in touch.”
-Keith Ferrazzi

It seems simple enough, but all you have to do is send a quick DM, text, email or be generous online: follow, retweet, share.

Share some helpful resources with people in your network. Something personal that says ‘I’m thinking of you.’ Make it something personal and supportive.

The worst thing you can do is not respond! Especially when the other person has responded to you or answered your questions. The least you can do is say ‘thank you’ and close off the conversation until a later date.

What is the magic key in all this?

Just start. We all come into the world the same: naked and without any connections. The more we craft outreach and receive a positive response, the easier and more exciting it becomes as our communities grow and with them, our opportunities.

Miller leaves us with the following questions:
What single connection could have the most meaningful impact on your life today? Who is someone that can help you achieve your goal, give you critical feedback, or someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to? Reach out to them today!